Wednesday, June 3, 2015

I Shall Not Want

I've been thinking about the idea of want lately, and the conclusion I've come to is that there's really not anything in this world that I want. 

You might, at this point, be strongly disagreeing with me, thinking about all the things you would have if life would afford them to you. And I'm not saying that I don't have such a list myself. I do. Sort of.

But here's what I find is most true about want: it always leads me back to the abundance that I already have, and I inevitably discover that whatever I thought I wanted, I don't. Not really, anyway.

Here's how all this works:

Maybe there's something in this world you have your eye on. Maybe there's something you think you really want. Picture it. Dream about it. Ok, you got it? Now, imagine that someone gives you just enough money - down to the penny - to go out and get this thing. Let's say it costs $42.47, tax included, and someone drops $42.47 in your lap.

Do you go get it?

There are really two answers to this question. Some of us say yes, absolutely. Let's go get it. And then the answer becomes a question - now what? Is it as fulfilling as you hoped it would be? Or does it kind of feel like a waste? If you're anything like me, the more you get the things you think you want out of this world, the more they feel like a waste when you have them. 

Which leads to the second possible outcome of this little scenario, which You don't go out and get whatever it is you thought you wanted. See, when you get enough of the things you think you want in this life and they keep turning out to feel like waste, (maybe that's my problem: I've just been too spoiled) you start to consider that possibility before you even get them and then, just when it's possible, you realize it's not necessary. So, given every opportunity to go out and get it, you pass. 

Turns out, you don't really want it after all. 

For me, this want always ends up then as an exercise in gratitude. I think I want something, and then by the grace of God, I come into the means to have it only to realize that all I ever really wanted...was the grace of God. And I've got that. So this other stuff, these other things, what are they? Rubbish. And I don't need any more trash in my life. Nor do I particularly want it. 

So the more I want things, the more I am overwhelmed by all that I already have, all that already means something, all that is something, and I find that there's really nothing in this world that I want. And I say that with 100% honesty. There is nothing in this world that I want. 

How can that possibly be?

Simple, I guess....

The Lord is my shepherd.

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