If you're anything like me, it takes you a few days to find yourself again after the holidays. You wake up the next morning uncertain about yourself, uncertain about your friends and family, or uncertain about God.
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just me.
If you're uncertain about your friends and family this morning, remember that the only reason they were with you in the first place is because there's something about them that makes them worth sharing a table with. There's a reason they were at your holiday (or you were at theirs) in the first place. Maybe it turns out they have weird politics. Maybe someone made what you consider an inappropriate joke. Maybe someone just wasn't into it this year. Maybe...maybe you had a Bears fan on your couch late into the night.
Even if this is the case, they're still your family; they're still your friends. Nothing essential has changed about them. You spent one special day together, and it was more special because you were both there. Don't let the way your insecurities rubbed against each other change the way you love someone around your table. Remember who they really are to you, on any normal day, on any day when you're not both stressed by the holidays, when one of you isn't a guest and one of you isn't a host and both of you are just who you are. Friends. Family. Joy.
If you're uncertain about yourself this morning, it's because you feel like you did or said something stupid yesterday. Welcome to the club. I do and say something stupid every day. You probably do, too. It just feels different because this day happened to be a holiday, because this day was supposed to be special, because this day was the one day you were supposed to be able to be around your family and friends and not, well...not be yourself. You were supposed to be better than you.
But take heart. The people who shared a table with you yesterday weren't, for the most part, using it as an opportunity to pass judgment on who you are. (There are some wicked, heartless families and friends out there, to be sure, but it's not most of them.) Most of them were just happy you were there. And you probably were, too. So don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody's thinking about it nearly as much as you are. If they are, apologize and move on. The apology is more true of you than anything you may have done "wrong." If you can't get it out of your head, apologize and move on. After all, maybe you're more the kind of person who apologizes than the kind of person who occasionally says or does something stupid (which is perfectly human, by the way).
If you're uncertain about God this morning, it's because you can't figure out why He gave you these people or made you this person in the first place.
Relax. He knows what He's doing.
So take it easy on yourself today. Yesterday wasn't so bad. Even if...