God Holds Back

For as long as we have known our God in a fallen world (so as far back as Genesis 3), we have all been asking the same question - why doesn't He act more quickly?

Why do the wicked prosper? Why does evil seem to win? How do we reconcile the bad things of this world with a God who says He is 1) good and 2) in control? Why do we get cancer? Why do children die? Why do the good struggle? Why, as the psalmist often wonders, do we spend our lives running from those who chase us only to destroy us? 

It is the psalmist who gives us the most passionate exclamation of this troubled soul, as well, when he cries out, Why do You stand by and do nothing? Unleash Your power and finish them off! (Psalm 74:11).

Yes, Lord. Amen! Come and put them in their place. Show Yourself. 

But...

But I confess that for as often as I have expressed this same sentiment, for as often as these words have been my own prayer, for as often as my own broken heart has longed for God to unleash His power already, my more humble heart is thankful that He hasn't. 

My more humble heart recognizes that there have been times in my life when I have fallen short and others have been praying the same thing to God toward me - they have wanted Him to unleash His power on my fallen and sinful self. On my self that has wounded someone else. On my self that has been short-tempered. On my self that has not been deserving of success but somehow found it anyway (through blessing and mercy, if we're being honest). On myself that has seemed to be, in my weaker moments, all that is wrong with the world and a standing testimony to the failure of God to set things right. 

My more humble heart recognizes that I am so very thankful that God holds back His judgment and His wrath and His power in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, His person will turn their heart back toward Him, repent, atone, weep, and make a new path through the world with righteous steps. 

Because if He didn't hold back, I would already be toast. 

And this is the rub. We weep and mourn and cry and tear our clothes and beg for the Lord to come in His mighty power and fix all the things that are wrong in this broken world...and yet, if we're being honest with ourselves, we have to confess that sometimes, we are the things that are wrong in this broken world. 

And what goodness it is that He has not answered the prayers of those we have wounded and unleashed His power and finished us off. 

What grace that He is patient with us, standing by and not doing nothing, but waiting....