For months now, as I have wrestled with myself and with God, I have come to find myself completely incapable of typing a specific word. That word, is "destroy." Even typing slowly just now, I mis-typed it at first. It's not very often that we use such a powerful word in our society. What is ever truly destroyed? But the way I've been typing it tells a lot.
I've been typing "destory." As in de-story. As in to take away the story of.
That's fitting. The quickest way to destroy someone is to destory them. Once you take away all that a person has about himself or herself, what are they left with? Nothing but devastation.
And in the healing process, it is important that we not destory ourselves. It's easy to believe we are on the path to healing when really, we are just stripping ourselves of story and sinking back into the quicksand of denial. Each step along the way for me, I ask myself if I am de-storying or re-storying my life. Because even though destroy is only one letter transposition away from destory, restory is only one letter away from restore.
I believe I am re-storying myself. Each day comes with a level of new understanding, a new insight I didn't have before. That's where the key to the future lies, at least in my view. And we are free to restory ourselves as we see fit, as long as we keep the original translation in mind. It's never about losing our stories or changing the past; it's about grabbing hold of the present and changing the future. To re-story isn't to change what already happened; it's to create anew all the possibilities that have yet to become.
Are you destorying or restorying your life? What are you going to do about that?