Double-Minded

There are some who will say - why can't we do both? Why can't we love on mom in the morning and then go live our lives in the afternoon? And the answer is simple: you can, but it's really, really hard. 

We are a people who struggle with double-mindedness. Give us something we want to do more, and it's all we can think about. Give us the excitement of something coming later, and it's hard for us to be in the present moment. Maybe you're making breakfast in bed for mom, but you're thinking about the game later. Are you really, then, present to mom? Or is it obligatory? Can anything come from your heart if your heart isn't even in the same place as your hands? 

It's true about the church, too. If you don't believe me, ask yourself when was the last time you thought about what you were doing after church. Did you make lunch plans? Have a family reunion? Know what time the game starts? Need to mow the yard? Whatever it is, whenever we have something else on our schedule, we spend our Sunday morning checking our watch. Wanting to make sure we're not about to miss that other thing because of the thing we're doing now. 

And when you're constantly thinking about that other thing you definitely don't want to miss? You miss the thing you're supposed to be doing in the moment. 

You start timing the sermon. You start counting the choruses. You start criticizing the benediction. You step out a couple of minutes early to "go to the bathroom," but you really just want to be first in line to pick up your kids from class so that you can get in the car quickly and be one of the first out of the parking lot so that you don't have to wait another minute so that you can drive across town, pull up to the squawk box, and beat that other denomination to Wendy's because you've got things to do this afternoon. 

Did you even hear the sermon? 

Are there echoes of the worship in your ears? 

Or are you just stressed out because you've been obsessing all morning about the next thing, while missing the more important thing, which is the thing right in front you? 

Maybe we should start calling you Martha. 

Are you getting it? You can't be truly invested in any moment if you're thinking about the next one. You can't be loving mom if you're thinking about where you need her to take you later. You can't be loving God if you're thinking about what you're doing after service. You can pretend all you want. You can think you're somehow better than the rest of the human race, that you're somehow more capable of a good solid single-mindedness, but the truth about our creation is that we have to have space if we're going to fill it, and if you've only given a small space to something, you can only fill it with small things in small ways because the bigger things are pushing on it from every side and squeezing the experience right out of it. 

We cannot be present and facing forward if there's something tapping on our shoulder all the time. We're just not capable of it. 

That's why we have to be diligent about setting aside time - real time. About creating space - real space. About making sacrifices - so that we clear out all the things that want to press in and take away what's sacred...or what should be sacred. We have to sacrifice our idols - those things that have become too sacred to us, those things that have taken away our ability to be present to the things that ought to be more important but simply aren't any more. 

We have to be willing to put away mammon and turn back to God.