Judged

When we live in a world filled with hatred and condemnation, it's easy for us to start feeling like our lives are being constantly judged. When the folks around us are ready and willing - not even that, but also eager - to share their dislike of certain things, it can make us hesitant to ever declare anything that we do like. Lest, of course, we are "wrong." 

Just the other day, I had a conversation in this vein. I was at work, and something came up about being red and one of my coworkers said, "Red is always bad. It is never good. There is nothing red that is ever any good," and I said, "Now, wait a minute." Obviously, I said, red candies are the best. 

Cherry, watermelon, strawberry, fruit punch...my mouth was practically watering with thoughts of all of the delicious red candies in the world. I mean, Starburst had to come out and make an offering of just "reds" because red is so popular. Red Kool-aid is a staple in my house. Red, red, red - it's all delicious. 

And my coworkers, without hesitation and seemingly in unison, said, "Ewww. Gross. No." 

No? Really? No? 

All of a sudden, I felt it in my heart - that tension between wanting to defend my position because, obviously, red candies are objectively the best and wanting to backtrack a little bit and declare that I like other candies besides just the red ones, that I was just saying that the red ones are pretty good, too. 

And that's where we are. This is where we exist as a society. We're all living in this very tension - trying to figure out whether to actually like what we like and to defend our choices...or to back off a little bit and temper our excitement for things in order to be more socially accepted, whatever that means. 

Have you been here? 

Have you said that you like a certain new song, only to have someone else tell you it's stupid? Have you tried to place a lunch order with friends from work, only to have them look at you incredulously when you tell them what you want? Have you been shopping and seen a shirt that you fell in love with, only to have someone tell you it's the ugliest thing they've ever seen?

Have you been willing to say something positive in a world full of hatred and condemnation only to have your positivity so thoroughly questioned - not only questioned, but judged - that you start to wonder if you ever even really liked it in the first place? 

This is the consequence of living in the world that we live in. So many of us feel like we're walking on eggshells, afraid to like anything because those who don't like it are not afraid to speak out and condemn not only it, but us. Our lives are in a constant state of judgment, and in a world that also seems to have mastered "cancel culture," we're afraid of being on the wrong side of anything. 

Yet, we have to also admit that it seems like the place to be in our world is on the wrong side of everything. 

How can we live like this?