God Listens

You've probably heard someone say that we don't listen to hear any more; we listen to respond. How often has someone been talking to you, and you're already preparing your response in your head before they've even finished their sentence? 

There are reasons that we do this. 

Sometimes, we do it because what we're really craving is connection, and we think that someone else is really craving connection, too, so we're preparing in our minds to share a similar story that we've lived so that we can bond over the mutual life experience that we've had. 

Sometimes, we do it because we believe we have some bit of wisdom to share. We are certain that if someone would just do x, y, or z, it would change their story. Often, we believe this because we have lived it - or a version of it - ourselves, and this is what we learned. So we are anxious to share. 

Sometimes, we do it because we're busy and we're just trying to move this little social foray along. We don't really have time for this, so we think that being ready to interject and wrap up the conversation will move us on quickly to the next thing. 

Sometimes, we do it because we are not auditory processors. That is, our brains don't fully understand the story someone else is telling us until we interact with it in some meaningful way, so we start to interact with it in our own heads, in an attempt to be more connected, but all that ends up doing is disconnecting us from being present with the person who is talking...and hearing the rest of their story. 

I confess I am guilty of all of these. 

But I have also spent a good number of years of my life in the ministry of presence (another term for chaplaincy), and one of the things that I have had to learn is how to simply sit and listen. 

Not to respond. Not to fix. Not to advise. Not to judge. Not to encourage. But simply to be present and to listen. 

And you know what? 

Of all of the persons I've encountered in my years, the ones that have been most thankful for my ministry are the ones with whom I feel like I have done the least. The ones I didn't have anything to say to. The ones I didn't feel qualified to advise. The ones I didn't try to fix or solve or heal. The ones I simply heard. 

Thank you for listening. I just needed someone to hear me. 

And isn't that a great gift? 

The prophet Jeremiah says that this is one of the gifts that God gives us. He simply listens. He listens carefully (8:6). He sits while we talk, and He hears us.

Not to fix. Not to solve. Not to advise. Not to judge. But just to be present, to truly connect, to hear us, and to let us know that we are heard. God is listening. 

It's a great gift, indeed.