Steven

I am a person who wants to know. All the time. Whatever it is. If we're wondering whether I want to know it or not, I do - whether it's the most precious gem of wisdom in all the world or the most banal bit of trivia. Tell me all of it. I want to know everything. 

My desire to know is probably why everyone comes to me with the strange questions; they just assume if anyone has the answer to them, I do. And sometimes, I'm even known as a know-it-all. 

So, then, imagine my surprise 8 years ago when I was sitting in the office with the new doctor and Dr. Steven said to me, "If you want to know, we can do the bone marrow biopsy right now...if you don't need sedated for it." 

IF I want to know? Of course I want to know. What kind of person doesn't want to know? 

He chuckled a little as I tried to hide my flabbergastedness that that was even a question, then he said, "Persons of faith always want to know." He then told me there was an entire subset of persons - persons, apparently, not of faith - who either don't want to know or at least, don't have an incredibly pressing need to know. They could take it or leave it. 

That single conversation, which took all of maybe 2 minutes, with a doctor I was meeting for the first time but who had years of experience dealing with the questions has changed the way that I interact with persons - in ministry and in real life. 

When I meet someone who has a pressing need to know, I immediately wonder what it is about their faith that makes them want to know. That doesn't have to be a Christian faith or even a religious faith; all I know is that this person has such a firm belief in something that they think they are better off knowing and dealing with whatever it is than not knowing. Whatever it is they believe in gives them the strength to face life in a different way than someone who doesn't have that resource. So I know when I am talking with someone like this that they have a reservoir somewhere that they're drawing from that equips them to handle things, that equips them to trust themselves - or their higher power - to handle things. 

That's a handy piece of information to know. 

At the same time, this simple little conversation also gives me pause. It reminds me to stop myself sometimes. Because I am a person who wants to know, who likes to know, who can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to know, I can be very quick to jump in and just tell you. I can be quick to lay out the facts or spill the beans or put the situation on the table. That's how I'm wired. 

It wasn't until this conversation with Dr. Steven that I truly understood that not everyone is wired that way. Not everyone wants to know. So it's important for me, as a person who loves knowing, to learn to stop and step back and make sure that whoever I'm about to tell is also a person who wants to know. 

That one's harder for me, but I keep working on it. And it really does come from this one single conversation 8 years ago. 

Thanks, Dr. Steven, for changing my perspective on knowing.