Mary Kay

Mary Kay and I are a weird sort of friend. I think we could be very good friends, but I was majorly intimidated when I first met her and wrestling with my own sorts of things, so our friendship never really blossomed into the full nature of things. 

But I love what we have together. 

Mary Kay and I only talk for about three months a year. The same three months every year. It starts in late June when the previews and commercials start coming out, and it goes through finale night somewhere in September. 

Every year. Like clockwork. 

And I love it. 

Mary Kay and I...are Big Brother friends. 

That's not how we met. We met when her husband was the associate pastor at my church, though to be honest, I spent more time talking to him than I did to her. But he recognized that we had something in common, and while he was rolling his eyes about our mutual interest in this television show, he also kept telling us that we should talk to each other. So we started talking to each other. 

And we haven't stopped. 

Mary Kay hasn't been to my church in more than 15 years. We've seen each other a few times here and there, but it's not like our lives cross paths that often any more. Actually, exactly once a year - for three months that this television show is on.

There's never pressure from either one of us that we should be better friends, doing more things together, seeing each other more often. At the same time, there's never pressure from either of us that it's at all weird that we only talk for these three months. It's perfectly normal and natural to me, and I've never gotten the impression that it's anything different for her.  (And I'll also confess that there have been a couple of seasons that I just haven't really been into all that much, but I keep watching them anyway because I like having this time with her. I like having this connection. I don't know what it is about it, but I like it.) 

Here's what it's helping teach me, though, in addition to just being enjoyable (and a place to mutually geek out about something we both like): 

I'm naturally an introvert. I don't do a whole lot of socializing. I feel an immense amount of pressure to be social when I meet new persons, to try to make really deep connections, to be an all-around great person and friend, and on and on until really, I don't even want friends. They're exhausting. 

But every year, I re-establish this one connection for another three months, and I realize that there's a way to be social, to be connected, to be friends that isn't draining. 

See, you don't have to be into everything someone else is doing to be friends. You don't have to get into things you're not into or pretend to be someone you're not. Maybe you're just a "we share this one thing in common" friend. Maybe you're just a seasonal friend. Maybe you're someone who is rock solid for that thing you both want to geek out on together and there's not any pressure to be any more - or any less - than that. Maybe you're just friends when the orbits of your life pass through one another, and you treasure those times and let them simply be. 

I think that's okay. 

I think everyone needs that friend. I know that I do. 

And that friend in my life teaches me how to be a better version of that friend in others' lives, as God has crossed our paths. And that's good. 

Thanks, Mary Kay, for being my June-September faithful, geeking-it-out friend. And for teaching me to be the same.  

*Her husband still rolls his eyes at us. Whatever. His loss.