A Policy Not to Help

I saw it on Facebook this week in a community group, a post asking for help. But this wasn't a typical post asking for help. 

It was a post asking for help for someone that the poster wasn't going to help. 

Here's the situation: Someone was posting because they knew of an elderly female in need of someone to cut her hair, but that person would have to make a house call because the elderly female was incapable of going out. "Just a simple cut, nothing crazy." And on the surface, that sounds like a reasonable - and not entirely uncommon - request. 

But the post continued - 

"My sister is actually a hairdresser, but she only does house calls for friends and family, so she can't help." (emphasis mine)

Gut punch.

It would be different if she had said something like, "My sister is a hairdresser, but isn't set up to do house calls." It's understandable if you don't have the business structure for mobility like that; not everyone does. I get it. 

But no, what she said is that her sister has a policy not to help people. She has a policy in place that she only helps certain persons, and this policy allows her to say no to helping anyone else. 

Honestly, my mind was screaming, "Then go make a friend!" I mean, that seems simple enough. If you know a woman who needs a service you can offer her, but you have a policy that says you only help friends, then go make a friend and help someone. 

It's not that hard. 

The truth is, she could have helped this woman and nobody would have had to know about it. She could have done a good deed for one person who happened to cross her path (and I don't believe there are accidents or coincidences like that) and that doesn't mean she would have to open her business up to take house calls. She could make it clear that she was doing one service for one person and that it wasn't a service she was interested in providing as a permanent offering. 

But she has a policy.... 

I don't have a lot of policies. I have some guiding principles, but nothing official, I don't guess. Still, it made me think about the quiet agreements I've made in my own life that have let me say "no" when there was absolutely no reason not to do good in the world except for that quiet agreement I'd already made in my heart. And I wonder how many not-policy policies I have that have kept me from doing good when I've had the opportunity - when my path has crossed somewhere that wasn't an accident or a coincidence. 

I'm still kind of upset about all of this. I mean, seriously - go make a friend. It will take what? One whole hour of your time every couple of months? 

But at the same time, I'm looking in the mirror and counting my hours and wondering how many friends I have failed - or refused - to make...and vowing not to fail the next one.