The Year Ahead

As we officially turn the page, the question is as it always is: what kind of year are you hoping the new one will be?

Like everyone, I have a list of victories that I'd like to see this year. Little wins, big wins, that will make my life better (I think). Things I've lost that I'd like to start gaining back. Things I've never had that I'd like to add to my life. Things that have held me back that I'd like to break free from.

When we dream about our new year, these are the things that we dream about. All the good things. None of us dreams about challenges we want to have, setbacks we anticipate, trials or troubles. We dream about the good things. We set ourselves up for success. We make a list of the new kinds of discipline we're going to have, the new habits we're going to start, the old habits we're going to break, everything we're going to do to set ourselves up for success. 

But let's be real - life doesn't work like that. Life is not some constant uphill motion. It's not always moving forward in the ways that we dream that it will. 

That's what ends up being so discouraging to us, I think. We dream big dreams, and then, they don't come about the way that we thought they would, and we start to beat ourselves up for not being stronger, for not being more disciplined, for not being more realistic...whatever it is. We plan our year for success after success, and then when trials and failures come, we get derailed really easily. We throw in the towel. We're ready to quit. 

This wasn't part of the plan.

But what if it was? 

What if this is the year that's not about your victories? What if this is the year that's not about your wins?

Like everyone, I have a list of things I'd like to see happen this year for me. Like everyone, I plan on putting in the time and the effort and the work to the best of my ability to make them happen. Or help them happen. 

But like a child of God, I understand that my resources are finite, just like my understanding, so my little list of victories is not my goal for the new year. 

My goal for the new year is to have a full life. 

To embrace what comes my way. To take advantage of my opportunities. To stay connected to God, whether it's a mountain season or a valley one. In the sunshine and in the darkness and in the rain. To take what life gives me and find His glory in it, whether I can see it right away or not. To take the next faithful step and hold on for the ride. 

To be fully alive and actively present in the life that He's going to give me, whether it's the life that I dream of with all of these blank pages in front of me or not. 

It's the only way, I think, to truly live the next year. (And the one after that and the one after that and the one after that....)

When you determine to live this way, to live a full life, you set yourself up for the biggest win - to get to live your days and learn to love them because every day is a day made by the Lord and a gift He is giving to you, even if it's not your best day. 

It's about taking that next step forward even if that step leads down into a valley. It's about picking your foot up, pulling the nail out of it, and putting it down again anyway. It's about learning to limp along when you have to because the way forward in this life is through. Through whatever it is. Not looking backward, but always taking the time to look around and keep looking ahead and being okay not knowing for sure where you're going, but knowing where you are - right where God has you. 

At the end of this year, I'll probably be saying the same things I've said for the past few days - that this was a full year. That it was a year of being fully human. And faithful. And somehow making it. And knowing the losses, but clinging to the victories. Of being full of hope even if I'm grieving the things that didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. 

I hope that by this time next year, my losses are not the same. I hope they are fewer, to be honest with you. But if they're not, then I hope I have lived them faithfully, finding God's glory in whatever comes my way and doing my best...the same best that I am vowing today to give to all of the blank pages in front of me. 

May this year be the year of our fullest life. Embracing it all. One step at a time. Through mountains and valleys and sunshine and darkness and rain and puddles and a little bit of mud (or a lot of mud, if you happen to be my new puppy). 

Sound good? It does to me.