God Knows

Every year, I get a performance review at work. For the most part over the course of my life, these have been positive experiences - reminders that I'm on the right track, that I am making good contributions, that my team (and leader) value me. 

And yet, over the course of the year, from the time I get that review around March until the next March rolls around, my insecurities tend to eat away at me. As performance review time rolls around again, I have almost convinced myself that this is the year someone finally says it - I'm not doing a good job any more. I'm not valued. I'm driving everyone crazy. And things would be much better if I could just rein myself in a little bit and be better. 

Based on the number of persons who get a little angsty around their performance review, my guess is that I'm not alone. 

Based on the way that we speak in church, I know I'm not alone. 

We have these really high highs in our spiritual lives that convince us that God loves us, that we are doing a good job, that we're making a difference in our world, and that our presence here matters and makes an impact. 

But none of us lives in the high highs all the time, and as our lives stretch out in the valleys between the mountaintops, it's easy to think that we're failing. That we're falling. That we're not doing as well as we thought we were.

Then, we add in all this talk that we have about "that day" when will stand before God and have our lives judged, and, well, we start to get a little angsty. 

That is obviously going to be the day when someone finally tells us we're not doing a good job any more. That we're not valued. That we're driving everyone crazy. That we mess up more than we get it right. And that things will be much better now that we're out of the way. 

Most of us just get a little nervous when we think about God judging our lives. Judging us. 

Do you know what the Bible has to say about it, though? 

The Bible says - God already knows what we really are (2 Corinthians 5:11). 

He does. He created us. He watches us. He speaks with us. He guides us. He loves us. And He already knows what we really are. 

Paul is saying this in defense of his own ministry, using it as a point to say that he doesn't have to defend himself. He doesn't have to justify himself. He doesn't have to convince the people of Corinth that he is who he says he is because God already knows who he is and God has commended him. 

Not because he is perfect. Not because he is worthy. Not because he is good. Not because he is irreplaceable. But simply because he is God's beloved handiwork, in exactly the place God has put him, doing the work God to which God has called him. God knows who he really is, so he doesn't have to worry about anything else. 

The same, friends, is true for the rest of us, too. 

No matter what our lingering insecurities try to convince us of.