I am a person who is very particular with language, so much so that talking with me can sometimes be, well, exhausting. For example, I don't like to say "people" unless I'm talking about an actual people group; if I'm talking about a group of human beings, I'd rather say "persons." It's more accurate. And did you know that it's a very different thing to be "nauseated" than it is to be "nauseous?" I could go on, but you're probably bored enough already.
The thing is, as careful as I am with language, I have to confess that I caught myself on it. I can't remember how long ago it was - several years at this point, although several could be anywhere from 3-15 with the way the passage of time has been lately. But it was a season in my life where I was really wanting something positive to happen, something specific and positive, and I heard myself say, "I'm just praying for _____" whatever it was.
And then, I stopped.
Was I really praying? When was the last time I had actually prayed over that specific thing?
The honest answer was humbling. And based on that one moment, I have become even more precise in my language.
I'll confess - there are seasons in my life when I don't pray like I should. Not because I don't want to or because I don't believe in it or even because I don't know how. I just get...lazy. Maybe I get entitled. Maybe I start to feel like as much as I'm communicating with God with my heart, He doesn't need my words. Maybe I think He should just know what I'm doing and wanting and needing and He should already be working on it.
Sometimes, I confess I even just ride along in my own life a little too much, accepting whatever comes my way and embracing opportunities and waiting to see what happens next, what God is doing all on His own.
Whatever the reason, I realized that here I was, telling someone that I was praying for something to happen...and convicted in my soul that you know what? No, I'm not. I'm not actually praying for this. I haven't prayed for this in a long time.
And at that moment, I committed to two things:
1) To stop saying that I was praying for things I wasn't praying for. Not only does that make me a liar, but it sets God up to fail, too. Because if God doesn't come through and make it happen, then the watching world says, "But I thought you were praying for it. Didn't God hear you? Doesn't God care?"
and 2) To pray for the things I say that I'm praying for. This means praying for the things I say I'm praying for when I'm not actually praying - choosing to then pray for them because that's what I said I'm doing. It also means choosing to say I'm praying so that I choose to pray for them. It means actively trusting God with the things I ought to be trusting Him with and for and being a person of active faith, not just a person who says they have faith.
And it means something else about the way I use language, which I'll talk more about tomorrow....
In the meantime, I don't think I'm alone here. Are you someone who says you're praying when you haven't actually been praying for things? What would it change if you decided to pray when you heard that word coming out of your mouth?
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