Friday, April 11, 2008

See, Sense, Feel

I wish you could see the world the way I see it. I want you to live it with me, to touch it and embrace it in the way that I now can, a way I never could or never did before.

It seems so different now, though I'm unsure whether I can explain just how or not. For years, I have struggled so severely inside of myself - both with internal and external forces. But it was not until the other day that I realized how truly dead I've become. And I learned that all from a blade of grass.

It was green. I remember that so clearly because, suddenly, it was so clear that I had forgotten. It had never hit me before just how much illness and stress suck the life out of a person. But I saw that blade of grass and it was so clearly...green. And the thought popped into my mind - "Grass is green."

Then, "Sky is blue."

Then, "Sun is bright. Light is good. Rain is wet. Life is tangible."

It was like I could reach out and touch the world, and the world was touching me. As the warmth and the light came into my body, it was like life was breathing back into me. I can't quite explain it, there are no words that can wrap around it and grasp the situation.

But I wish you could see the world the way I see it. I want you to live it with me, to touch it and embrace it in the way that I now can, a way I never could or never did before.

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