Friday, August 15, 2014


When it comes to being the men and women God has created us to be, I think we're all a little afraid that our story is bigger than ourselves. I know there are some days that I am. Afraid, that is.

There just seem to be days when we feel like tiny, insignificant specks in this grand scheme of whatever's happening and it's hard. Our stories wrap us up in themselves and squeeze so tightly that it doesn't feel like we can breathe any more. This is true on the bad days and on the good days. On the bad days, it's trouble and trial and turmoil that ransack our hearts, making us question our strength. Making us aware of our weakness. Asking more of us than we think we have to give at all. It feels like we're being swept away, and it's all we can do to keep our heads above water. On the good days, it's purpose and passion and calling that wring our hearts. We get a sense of a very big thing going on in all our little things, and we're overwhelmed with our insecurities. This can't be our story because we're not big enough to fill these shoes. The good days sometimes ask more of us than we are comfortable giving because we can't see the depth of God in our own spirits. We might sort of suspect or even hope He's in there, in us, but we're hesitant to hold onto that and do the very big things He's called us to do.

Your story is not bigger than you. No matter how hard it swallows. No matter how thick its darkness. No matter how high its hopes. It's not bigger than you.

Another temptation we often run into is that there are days our story seems smaller than us. I know this is true for some of my days, too.

We can all of a sudden have this overwhelming sense of who we are and suddenly, we can do anything. We want to do everything. We wonder if our story can keep up, if there's any affirmation out there as we step forward in faith. We wonder if we'll be allowed to do the big things or if we're somehow relegated to mediocrity. We cringe to think our modest life is all that we were meant for. We shudder when we consider that God might not want the big things from us. The energy in our hearts tells us we were meant for big things, but we look around and life is all the little things. It's a haunting feeling, to think you should be more than you could ever be. It's that pull between fervor and faithfulness, which can pit us against ourselves.

When we think we're better than this, when we suspect that our story isn't big enough to hold us, we start to live outside of that story. We refuse to humble ourselves. We refuse to submit our spirits. And we miss out on just how big our story could be.

Relax. Your story isn't too small for you. No matter how mundane, how mediocre, how monotonous it can sometimes feel, it's not too small.

Your story is God-sized, and that makes it a perfect fit. It dwells naturally within us, a little tight at times to bring Him bursting through our skin. Our story both calls to us and presses in on us until it seeps out of our pores with every little step. It's big enough to hold all of our hopes but small enough that it answers our insecurities. It is a broad stroke with fine detail. It is eternal and it is intimate. Powerful, yet personal. It's always a little bigger than us, always pushing, always stretching. And it's always a little smaller because once we catch on to what God is doing, we're ready to do the big things. But all in His timing.

God's story within you is always in perfect tension with itself. If you're feeling that tension today, rejoice; it means God's story is alive in you. If you're afraid of that tension, that's ok. We all are. Or maybe I'm just speaking for myself again.

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