Waiting

I am a person who is content to wait. That is, if waiting is what we're doing. 

We live in a world that doesn't have to wait any more. A world that has everything at it's fingertips. I am always stunned to be sitting in a waiting room - a room designed for the purpose of waiting - only to look around and see everyone, young and old, glued to some kind of screen or device. 

Did you notice they stopped putting magazines in waiting rooms? Nobody uses them any more. Everybody's brought their own content with them. 

Perhaps it's because we've been so convinced that we can be more productive with our devices in our hands, that we can get more done in the time that we used to just "waste" waiting. But are you really accomplishing anything when you check that email, read that headline, crush that candy? Or are you just pushing aside a bit of your own existential dread by filling the time and space with what feels like something? 

I'm that rare person. I don't keep apps on my phone. I don't take social media with me. I don't even leave my data on. I have to make an intentional choice to engage with my device and most often, I simply don't. 

I am content...to wait. 

To sit there with nothing to do to pass the time. With nothing to distract me from whatever I might be feeling. With nothing pulling on me to do more. With nothing trying to convince me that I'm being somehow productive when I know...I'm really not. That YouTube clip you're watching isn't anything. It's mindless. It's meaningless. 

Waiting is neither. 

Waiting is mindful. It gives you a chance to reflect on whatever you're doing. Sure, you're not doing it right now, but you're anticipating doing it...or anticipating it happening, and it's the waiting that helps you begin to engage it. And while you're engaging whatever it is, you're also engaging the actual world around you. The sights, the sounds, the smells. The other humans beings who, I have to add, are not simply waiting; they're idling. 

Maybe that's it. 

When this world is waiting, it feels like they're sitting in idle. At a stoplight with the gas running, the air blowing, the radio playing, but no movement happening. Anticipating something happening, maybe. On edge, always looking for the light to change. Always ready to go, to move, to get on to the next thing. 

But for me, when I'm waiting, I'm parked. This is the next thing. This is what I'm doing. I'm not antsy, not anxious, not on edge. Not always looking for the next signal of movement. The absence of movement is the motion. I am fully engaged in something. 

It only looks like nothing to the untrained eye. 

I wonder what our lives would look like if we engaged the waiting again instead of trying to fill all the space. I wonder what they would look like if we could embrace the space we've been given, which sometimes - yes - turns into more than we bargained for, but isn't that part of the blessing of it? 

I wonder if there's anyone else out there who is content simply to wait. Hands free. Eyes open. Mind engaged. Simply...waiting.