God Remembers

There are days when I don't feel like I'm any good at all. I haven't done any good in the world. I haven't been my best self. I have added to the trouble and turmoil around me, if in no other way than by not stopping it. There are days that I go home and cry myself to sleep out of sheer weariness, out of that feeling of running on a hamster wheel and not making a difference. Of having made mistakes that wouldn't normally be like me. Of...having a messed up life. 

The thing is that on the days that I dare to share these feelings, on the days when I'm honest about the ways that my exhausted heart and mind are speaking to me, those around me seem to have no trouble at all coming up with a thousand things I do well, things I've done right, differences I have made, competencies I have shown.

More than that, they are quick to step in with positive character traits - kindness I've shown, gentleness, calmness, peace, generosity. Things I have offered from my spirit (even my weary, insecure, uncertain spirit) to others that have had a meaningful impact on the day that we shared. 

On the day that I, for whatever reason, didn't feel like I was good enough. 

Yet others seem to know my goodness a lot better than I do. 

And so does God. 

Jeremiah says that God remembers the good you do. (39:16-18) Even in exile. Even in a foreign land. Even on what looks like not your best day, God remembers the good you do. 

He remembers the difference you made. He remembers the little thing you thought no one noticed. He remembers the positive character traits - your kindness, gentleness, generosity, patience. He remembers it all. 

This is why, by the way, God is so slow to anger with us. Because He remembers the good things we do. Because He recognizes when we are troubled by our own insecurities and weariness and uncertainty and when we're not having a good day at all, but we have still done good. We do good. We are fairly consistent doers of good. He sees through our momentary troubles, our frustrations, our exhaustion, our failures, and He remembers the good we have done. 

And, like a good friend, He reminds us.

He's that one whispering in our ear. He's that one sending us the encouraging message. He's that one painting rainbows in the skies and smiles on faces and reminders all around us that even if we don't feel it right now, we are still good. We still do good. 

He speaks the truth that we need to hear at the moment when we most need to hear it, even if it's a moment we can't quite believe it. He still speaks it because it's easy for Him. 

He remembers.

And He reminds us when we have forgotten.